Monday, August 17, 2009
O.k. Let me start out, by saying that I am definitely not on here nearly enough. I am dealing with so many different things right now you just can't imagine. I talk most of the time with a co-worker that I can trust, but before long she won't be closing with me anymore and I will have a new co-worker that I will be closing with, and it is definitely to soon to tell if I can trust her with secrets or not. That will have to be something that will have to be observed first. Lately I have been dealing with my manager a lot. I don't think that she really knows how to talk to me like a grown adult. Since when is it o.k. to talk to a 39 year old woman like she's 12? I mean come on now. Let's grow up. Then I have to turn around and deal with the same attitude from my husband. I get tired of people accusing me of things. Usually it's either stuff I haven't done and they are saying that I did, or it's stuff I did do and they are saying that I didn't. Like tonight for instance. My husband went into the kitchen to get a second helping of dinner and that is when I was done eating so I just went ahead and took my plate in the kitchen and put it in the sink. Later when I went to get up and go wash the dishes he started complaining that I didn't take his plate into the kitchen when I took mine. I told him that I had taken my plate into the kitchen while he was getting a second plate and he had the adacity to look me in the eye and tell me that no I hadn't. HOW WOULD HE KNOW?!?!?! HE WASN'T EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!!!!!!! Same thing at work: The ATM or the Vault (don't remember which now) was off. The ATM had to buy money from the vault, so of course tickets have to be made. Each for the same amount. One IN ticket from the ATM and one OUT ticket from the vault. Sheri accused me of running 2 out tickets for the same amount to the ATM. Why would I do something like that? When I told her that I hadn't she said then why is there 2 of them in Image Research? I don't know the answer to that, but I know for sure that I DID NOT run 2 out tickets from the vault. There is no purpose for that. Jack Henry is very good at messing up all the time. There have been times before where they have screwed up my work, I get accused of it only for them to eventually find out that I was telling the truth. Then after all of this: I have lost my checkbook. I went into my manager's office to ask for advice on what to do, and the only thing that she could say to me is "What's wrong with you lately? You have been going around not knowing how to do certain things that you should know after being here for 6 years". Now you tell me: Does that have anything to do with my checkbook? These are just 2 isolated incodences that I am dealing with. There have been so many other days that she makes me feel so inferier. I told my co-worker that I was at the point today of just throwing my keys at her and walking out that door. Why do people have to be so mean? This is why I wish that I could just be blessed with a life that is financially stable enough that I don't have to work. I want more than anything to be a stay at home mom, but my husband and I can't afford it right now. We have 1 house payment, 2 car payments and 1 child in his senior year (the most expensive) and we still have another child going on 11 so his teen years are right around the corner. I need my job right now. Jobs are so scarce that I just can't afford to quit and find another job. Not to mention thousands of others that are definitely more qualified than I am. So what do I do? On www.dailymile.com I have joined a challenge where you have to have positive thinking for the next 10 days. How am I able to do that when I can't even keep from crying?
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Ah babe! well, as you see i'm too my "catching up," but some catching up really does come too late. I'm sorry that i wasn't here to read and talk to you sooner. We've had bits and pieces of conversation over these issues, but I have been so preoccupied with everything work and not work that i just have been stinkin' it up in any other department. *sigh* don't sweat the small stuff that you have no control over, it'll just cause unnecessary stress and typically elevate issues. with the @ work thing, like i said, - i completely know the feeling from my old branch, I learned that at the fitting times I just had to tough up and speak my mind to not be walked all over and after a couple times of standing up for myself I believe my boss got the hint and began respecting me. I didn't have issues like that ever again. I always did it in a respectful manner, in person and privately in her office - not in front of staff or customers. I think she realized after I pointed out examples and expressed my thoughts and feelings and flat out said, "No one deserves to be treated the way you treat me and the other employees at the branch. If you have an issue at home that you are taking out at work, it's wrong because we didn't cause it." Then I said, "It's bad when I know whether we are going to have a bad day or a good day at the branch just by the inital expression on your face when you step out of your car. That does not create a positive work environment or productivy. If you have personal beef with me, out of respect, take me aside and don't call me out and belittle me in front of my co-workers. If you do it, what's to make them not do it as well? If there is an issue that i'm unaware of, I'd like to know it now and if there isn't and this is how i'm going to be treated, I have no problem doing you a favor and walking out. So what's the deal?" i have to laugh now, but when I said that she was stumbling all over her words and apologizing left and right. "I NEVER want you to feel like that and I apologize for ever treating you like that." She was all beside herself and even asked for a hug when we were done. that ended that problem and although a little sticky at times still, for the most part things were smooth sailing from there on out and I didn't get crap unless i rightfully deserved it.
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